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First Timers

Two first-time moms share funny stories about blowouts, belly laughs and all the other "firsts" in parenthood!
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Feb 14, 2019

*This episode originally aired in July of 2018.

Did you know the key to parkour is yelling “PARKOUR!”? Have you heard the stereotypes about Presbyterians turned Atheists? Did you get “ground” in the 90’s? Guest, mom and sister abuser Shauna explains it all on this hilarious episode. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. 

Feb 7, 2019

Julie zip ties diapers while Angie close lines her kid. Why do toddlers need to get ready to get ready? How many days in a row will Ayla scream sweep the floor with her back? All this and more on today's episode.

Subscribe to our podcast, share it with friends, and send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimers@gmail.com!

Jan 31, 2019

Thanks to needles in her face and crystals in her ears, Angie is back! Evie laments her changing relationship with Max, but is happy that Ayla loves her (slightly more than pizza). Despite not having a firm grasp on personal space, Max is big man on preschool campus. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and share us with your friends. It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Jan 24, 2019

Julie’s husband Dave, who wasn’t a high school golf champ, sits amongst his own clothing and box of 90’s nostalgia to talk sibling squabbles. The couple also covers crafting with cardboard and amygdala injuries. Unless you are Julie’s mom, tune in now!

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Jan 17, 2019
Globe trotter and teen wrangler Jill visits to talk hormones, homework and high AF kids. Angie and Julie are thrilled to hear that despite The Year of the Critter and hours-long crying spells, parenting gets easier. Tune in now and help the moms determine whether Jill's daughter has provided real or fake slang!
 
Find Jill @ wanderingnativecollective.com
 
Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.
Jan 10, 2019

Angie takes Max to a disgusting pool with unruly kids. He loves it! Julie creates a chore chart. Evie immediately realizes how to exploit the chore chart. Someone shit the big boy bed so the big boy goes back to his crib. 

Show these moms some love by listening NOW!
 
Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.
Jan 3, 2019

VIP guest and open-concept-one-bedroom owner Molly explains why she's the broken-back Manning of the lactation world. Evie thinks boys are charming. Max shits his crib. Tune in for all this and more, including some hot tips on how to make your baby more flammable. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Dec 27, 2018

*This episode originally aired in June of 2016* The moms talk husband resentment: Julie’s arrived early; Angie’s came on strong. More importantly, will Evie and Max share their mothers’ affection for 90’s music or will they say, “Bye, Felicia!” to Third Eye Blind and The Goo Goo Dolls?

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Dec 20, 2018

After some riveting cough talk, Julie reveals why there's an Ikea bin atop her stroller and Angie wonders why Santa put Max on the naughty list. Children say the darnedest things.The moms wonder if those things are politically incorrect. Tune in for all this and more, including hot gossip on which celebrity hunk tosses cookies and which makes the hosts want to toss their cookies.

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Dec 13, 2018
Every time Angie coughs during this episode she pees her pants a little. She coughs a lot. Luckily she's wearing a postpartum-sized pad! Angie and Julie plan to "get back at it!" in their 50's. In the meantime, they'll be incontinent queefers. If they form a band--again, in their 50's--maybe that will be the name. Please enjoy this very silly episode!

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Dec 6, 2018
Audience members share anecdotes about butt worms, shoe poop and vaginal nigiri. Julie and Angie vow to channel their inner Costco man and tell strangers to back the f#*k up. Or, the moms will pretend their kids have an ultra contagious limb-loss disease. Either way, no one will be forced to hug it out.
 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

 
Nov 29, 2018

The moms ponder life's big questions, like whether vomit can be composted and why grandparents can't take a half-decent photo. Julie's IUD has hijacked her libido, rendering the device completely unnecessary. Angie hasn't had her period since # was called a pound sign.

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Nov 15, 2018
Television host and lifestyle expert Brandi Milloy gets a pap smear and partner from her OB-GYN. Then the tenacious mom produces, directs and stars in her daughter's award-worthy birth story. Missing this episode would be more devastating than missing your wife's mucous plug ... so tune in now!
 
Check our Brandi's website brandimilloy.com and follow her on social media @brandimilloy!
 
 
 
Nov 8, 2018

While Max is busy being Max, Evie gives The Switch Witch a hard time and Ayla bites the hand that feeds her. As a special bonus, the moms sing—Angie poorly and Julie very, very poorly—their kids' favorite tunes. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Nov 1, 2018

These moms mean business when it comes to Halloween. The fruits of their labor, however, are not always appreciated. All of the kids are gross: Ayla licks bathroom walls, Evie leaves turd on her tush and Max eats candy off of public floors despite buckets of wrapped candy at home. 

First Timers Promo Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Oct 25, 2018
Angie's having a good hair pregnancy! Julie recalls a sweaty, gestational glow. The moms discuss their kid's efforts to become world-class trouble makers: Evie's involved in a best-friend triangle, while Max is busy being the class jerk. The school yoga routine—while adorable—doesn't seem to be helping either child to recenter. 
 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

 
Oct 18, 2018

Free-throw champ and verbal-assault ninja Kasey drops by to relive a heated playground throw down. The moms also discuss lice hacks, moron husbands and—the most titillating of all topics—public transportation. This hilarious episode is brought to you by Palm Springs. Download now or earn bad desert juju. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! Share our podcast with your mom friends, dad friends, mom FB group, or just your mom! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Oct 11, 2018
Mom, podcaster and producer Melissa Pressman drops by the closet to talk everything twins, from pregnancy to delivery to telling them apart. It all sounds ... hard! How did Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse get through it without gaining a single wrinkle? Plus, Max is biting. 
 
Check out Melissa's podcast, Rated PG
Oct 4, 2018

Rachel Mannino tells the moms what it's like to live with your kid; your stepson; your ex and baby daddy; your boyfriend and baby daddy's friend; and your giant dog. Spoiler: it's not the hell it sounds like! Plus: Angie spreads rumors about Nikki Taylor and Afrin. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Sep 27, 2018

Angie prefers raging toddler to crying newborn. Soon she’ll have both! Julie meets and then immediately terrifies a new neighbor. Why didn’t Sam’s man-with-a-broom guardian angel come to her rescue?

This episode is very unofficially sponsored by Charles Schulz.

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Sep 20, 2018

Max lies in poop. Ayla paints in poop. The moms are sick of poop. Evie is sick of soccer. Plus… brain injuries! Don’t miss this week’s heady episode!

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Sep 13, 2018

Evie has gone emo and Max ODs on OJ, but more importantly, the moms share listener stories! What constitutes a “big kid”? How many soggy porch diapers are too many? Can a baby contract ebola by bathing in a hotel bathtub? Can a mom contract ebola by using a baby wipe to pick up a dead rodent? Angie and Julie don’t have the answers, but that doesn’t stop them. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Sep 6, 2018

Max loves the doctor; Evie loves the doctor's pretzels; everyone loves charcuterie. The moms decide that despite a day one wardrobe malfunction, school is off to a good start.

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com

Aug 30, 2018

Evie suffers from airplane-onset ADD and Ayla will not obey the seatbelt sign. Max is days away from three but days into acting three. Angie will fight anyone who supports bar soda guns; please email to arrange an altercation.

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com

Aug 23, 2018

Sam is back with an update on his recovery (we know you've been DYING to know). Max falls in love with Polar Pops and rehearses his audition for their commercials. Angie finds a new love for her brother that she didn't see coming. Julie is still on vacation and usually writes these descriptions so they'll go back to being interesting next week. 

Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

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